Sailing

Belgium, October 1972

This photo was taken on a rainy day in Belgium in October 1972. I was 9 years old, wearing my favorite summer dress though it was getting too short, gifted by a perpetrator three months earlier, who flew me in on his private jet to go sailing the US East Coast. He was a powerful man, and offered me what he called "a taste of my future." He was kinder and more attractive than other abusers, and was a parental figure in that he was the first to appreciate my intelligence and gift for languages, and was thoughtful in small ways.

He promised he'd be back for me. On some level I was waiting my entire life to go sailing again. Today someone sent me this quote by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, which reframes the sailing experience to reflect the voyage for which I was truly meant - not to be a woman to a man of power, paid off with riches to keep her eyes, ears and mouth shut, but to navigate my ship across these turbulent times.

Here is the quote: 

“In my bones I know, as do you, that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours: They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here.

In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But … that is not what great ships are built for.”