Time for Truth

Of late, I have been insulted quite a bit. I take it personally when the occidental yogis who make up a large part of my day-to-day environment liberally share uninformed opinions about the dark power system, condemning “conspiracy theories” - a term used by the mainstream media and all who are influenced by it to ridicule anyone questioning the narrative that has the powers-that-be behind it. I am finding that the loudest voices at this time are from a few white male yoga leaders, who may generally criticize the vertical power model when exemplified in abusive yoga gurus and cults, yet still benefit from that system and its violence. These men’s soapboxes were crafted as carefully and determinedly as model trains, positioned on a mountain of privilege, which amplified their whistles, but, unable to understand the advantage of their position, they believed they also built the mountain. That mountain is starting to crumble, and those men are quickly losing followers who have experienced the dark side of the power system first hand, who previously accepted these men’s crumbs of sympathy and uninspired insights as deep and substantial, while their yogi fans, in their grateful support, became that mountain sustaining that soapbox. Hopefully followers are waking up, recognizing their own wisdom runs deeper, garnered from personal experience, suffering and healing, which sharpened discrimination and reveals these men’s mediocrity and desire to belong to the mainstream, to become the mainstream, to simply have power. Suddenly these good-hearted yogis have turned mean, following the prompts of the media and ridiculing anyone who disagrees with them, dismissing facts, aggressively defending their opinions. As they loudly assert their ignorance, underneath that crumbling mountain, deeply buried fears, unfelt pain and humiliations threaten to be unearthed. Therein lies the key for these yogi men: to feel their pain, emotionally grow up, and thus, through their own personal experience of yoga concerned with consciousness expansion, grasp the larger picture of what may be going on in the world.

Calling inquiry a “conspiracy theory” is a personal insult to me, because my own story is called exactly that by many. I even receive messages from people telling me that they have researched my story and came to the conclusion that I am a mythomaniac, trying to get attention, or that I am crazy. “Inconsistencies,” they point out, invalidate my story. I think if someone is really are seeking to find holes in my story because they start out by not believing what I am sharing is possible, because it would upset their world-view and threaten their own relationship with authority figures, you could focus on elements that I add over time, as certain pieces of the puzzle of my past continue to fall into place, Sometimes I deem it relevant to reveal a certain new aspect publicly that I had not revealed before. There is as of today so much that I have remembered that I have not shared, because it is so extreme, and I am aware that it is difficult to take in. The New York times just published a tired opinion piece about Tara Reade, who tells her heart wrenching story of being digitally raped by Joe Biden in 1993, in which the author uses “inconsistencies” to discredit the victim, and of course, clear Biden. As if sharing the story of such a traumatizing experience can only be true if it is presented to absolute perfection, and in its entirety, the first time. Sometimes new puzzle pieces correct previous memories. For example, I had the number seven in my head as my age when a little boy was killed in the network. Mentally, he was very young, and I knew he was two years younger, so I thought he was five. I had never remembered the space in which he had been killed, but I remembered the adults and where I was positioned. I remembered the boy, his innocence, his unbearable sweetness, his face, his struggle, his voice, his screams. And I remembered how I had promised to protect him, failed him, and the lifelong guilt and pain I experienced over his murder. I knew that I had been raped during this torture, but not by whom, until that famous rapist died a few years ago and his picture was all over the internet, and I recognized him from a photo taken the year of the boy’s murder. And then, many more pieces fell into place. I realized that I had in fact been nine years old, not seven, which had been the age of the boy. There was significance in the number seven, and I had transposed it. Slowly, the sinister picture of the Satanic ritual that took the life of that sweet child came into view. How I wish that it was part of a “conspiracy theory” and none of it were true.

One of the yogi men recently offered his opinion that “a premeditated conspiracy presupposes that people in power (many of whom he has met) are actually competent enough to orchestrate something this complicated,” referring to the current pandemic. I know from personal experience that the most powerful people on earth are extremely competent when it comes to exerting control, using the media and Hollywood and education for mass brainwashing, and capable of creating global crises such as war and disease. Using the term “conspiracy theory” and blaming anyone who disagrees with your viewpoints places you in the camp of the new privileged. It is always a matter of grasping intent. Mostly, those who freely perpetuate the mainstream brainwashing content do so because they cannot believe that those who are in control could possibly be as evil as they are. This inability to understand psychopathy behind the scenes of the world stage harks back to the inability to cognize one’s own darkness, one’s own emotional numbness and dissociation, resulting from one’s own, unfelt childhood pain, covered by shame, in turn covered by privilege and power. The lies are vast. It is hard to recognize that you have been lied to about almost everything, for your entire life, by your parents and by the authorities who became stand-in parents later in life. It takes courage to look behind the veil of the story your family perpetuated, and behind the stories the media churns out. Every time anyone breaks through some deeply held shame, it turns out to be about having been hurt, and having carried the secret shame of the one who did the hurting - it never belonged with us. People who who do have access to feeling, whose deeper wounds yet fester beneath the status quo, have difficulty fathoming what the psychopathic leadership does, how they operate, and what they are capable of. Fear, when it is externalized, turns into aggression, and these good people are now riding their privilege train to aggressively shut down anyone questioning the mainstream opinion, or anyone patiently breaking down rigid, politically divisive statements. I can’t blame these yogi men and certainly don’t wish harm upon them. I can’t guess at the complexities of being white and male in a falling patriarchy.

The current events and unprecedented measures of control are very much in line with what my abusers were already working on in the 1970’s: to establish world domination through a centralized money control system, devised and sustained by pedophiles - the sickest, most immature humans who have no access to their soul, who kill children, who have zero qualms about anything at all, who are completely dead inside and understand nothing about what it is to be human, who are themselves the greatest slaves, the spiritually poorest, drowning in a material sea of emptiness. I can’t blame them, either. As their child sex slave, I saw the side they couldn’t show to anyone else: the scared, weak, hurt, humiliated, deadened little boy hiding underneath their Mount Everest of privilege and power. Can you imagine what it must be like, to be abused from early childhood onward, robbed of any self-esteem, and at the same time, constantly be made to feel that you are better than everyone else? Can you imagine the isolation, the terrible trap in which privilege and power become the sole substitute for a semblance of self worth? The entire power system is based on ignoring one’s own victimization, which, suppressed, rears its head with the help of power, and justifies creating new victims; top to bottom. All those who climb the social ladder are similarly cut off from victim parts, running away from their pain, supported by the entire paradigm, and doing harm to greater or lesser degrees. This paradigm is unsustainable. This paradigm alone is responsible for all the earth’s woes. This paradigm is crumbling.

Suspicion towards official channels is absolutely warranted. Inquiry into intentions and behind-the-scenes operations is in no way dismissive or disrespectful of people getting sick and dying. I personally provide weekly yoga/mediation videos for the staff at a hospital in the Bronx, one of the hardest hit in the country, and have been busier than ever in various forms of service, all while respecting the rules. Meanwhile, the psychopathic leadership, with the help of their massive, duly indoctrinated loyal following, can and will orchestrate massive events to magnify and further their attempts to take full control. Look at 9/11, and what happened in the wake of that tragedy. I witnessed it from my window in Brooklyn. When the first tower fell, this small thought came: “That doesn’t make sense". The fire was too high up, the building too tall - it did not seem feasible that this tower could collapse on itself the way it did. I repressed that little thought, until a group of architects and engineers started to ask questions. They never shared an opinion on what they they thought actually happened, they only found holes in the official narrative and the commission report and have been steadfast in their inquiry, which continues today. They do it in honor of the fallen, out of respect of the families of the victims, and for the sake of truth. I hope that we can emulate them, and ask questions, for the sake of the fallen, for their families, and for truth.

Anneke LucasApril 17, 2020