Fashion
A shot of a fashion show of the latest trend. What strikes me most about this and other pictures in this series is the hair and make up. These particular physical signs accentuated with make up were present when I was being abused. I was once given a police file with the faces of child victims of the Zandvoort CD Roms internet child porn scandal to help identify victims. The graphic parts had been cut out or covered, but it was still extremely triggering to see the images, and recognize my young self. The boys and young men in this fashion shoot look exactly like the victims of child porn, with a dead look in their eyes, or the sad arrogance that comes from feeling the power to arouse a man. Even the gestures are the same, as in the photo below of the two boys. One ex-boyfriend of mine was not too pleased that I always knew when he had masturbated. I mentioned it to him to put my power of observation to the test - he was reluctantly impressed. Notice how the make up accentuates the straight crease from the inner corner of the eye, running alongside the bridge of the nose, down a few inches. Sex addicts have these particular creases. During sexual abuse, the child's body/mind system goes into the freeze mode for survival. In that state the body fills with endorphins, creating relaxation. The blood flow decreases and it is possible to experience pleasure. If the adult abuser is someone the child loves, as is often the case, the pleasure is perceived as a gift of love, or, through the pleasure, the child may believe that this adult loves them, and thus fear is suppressed. The physical sensation of titillation and orgasms replaces feeling, and becomes addictive. This also happened to me, with certain abusers whom I felt loved me. This addiction drains the light from your eyes, literally, but it fills you up with the energy of power - of being wanted. Sexual abuse is so often compartmentalized because the surrender to the situation and the animalistic pleasure, as well as the adult's need to keep it all a secret, are too confusing. No child can self-identify as both a child and a crazed sex beast. The shame splits the sexual persona along with all the memory and information off from regular consciousness, which is how I was able to go to school without dying of shame. It took decades before I could accept that the fact I experienced pleasure didn't mean I wanted to be abused. When looking for that high through sex repeatedly, the skin under the eyes turns blue or black around those creases. Through the repeated releases from the relaxation through the endorphin high and the orgasms, all the facial features relax: the lips may automatically pout, etc. which creates a sensual look. This is what we often see in those considered the most beautiful people, such as many movie stars and fashion models. The sensual mask attracts sexual attention, repeating the cycle. Also note the hair of these models, which is stuck on the forehead as it would in sweaty sex. And note the similarity of this hairstyle with how you can imagine the stereotypical pedophile, balding, with greasy hair locks stuck to the forehead. Also note how the nose, and around the mouth, and the cheeks are painted red as though from excessive rubbing as in wild sex. And finally, several of these models are also emaciated. Because when you feed on sex, you don't get so hungry for food, plus your body needs to be pliable, and easily accessible. Western culture's great secret is that of rampant incest and child sexual abuse, the trauma of which runs through every fiber of its being.