Incest is the secret formula to keep families attached, to keep fear-based protection of authority figures alive, and to preserve the hierarchic structure of the capitalist system.

Incest, passed down from older generations, creates:


1. Fear of death, through the trauma, and therefore,
2. Increased dependence on family money for survival. 


Thus incest is the secret formula to keep families attached, to keep fear-based protection of authority figures alive, and to preserve the hierarchic structure of the capitalist system. Victims of incest need to protect the secret, because if they don't, they will be kicked out of the family. Many of my fellow survivors who confronted their families have lost out on their share of the inheritance, often strategized by siblings faithful to the unhealthy family dynamic. This happened to me as well. This is why the wealthier and more powerful the family, the harder it is to deal with the reality of incest, the harder it is to move away from matter-bound consciousness, and the harder it is to find the courage to face the trauma. 


The way society is set up today, it is still very difficult to heal from incest. There is no organized structure in place outside of the family unit for emotional support, there is no financial aid available, and you end up losing your family, whatever status you had from being part of the family, and their financial support - all at once. This while having to deal with the very painful feelings that were previously covered by denial and attachment to the family. For many survivors, the circumstances of abuse are replicated in confronting the family, or confronting a similar situation in a work place or another group dynamic where abuse of power by the leader has corrupted its purpose. At this moment, it still requires tremendous courage to break away from dynamics of power abuse, because the losses are real. 


The man who took me sailing along the US East Coast when I was nine, mentioned many times that I belonged in his family. I am beginning to realize that he was saying these things because he identified with me, and therefore he felt that I was part of his family, who were in his mind mere extensions of himself. He was most certainly an abuser within his own family as well. There was a certain type of elation he experienced that I've seen on his face in pictures with his (adult) granddaughter who became his companion after his wife had died. They can be as loving as they wish in public because no one would ever guess at their sexual relationship, and this is exactly what would give him that sense of elation - the idea of freedom from being able to get away with it. 


And this man was a world leader. And this is the state of the world from which we are beginning to wake up: complete lack of emotional awareness that leads to mindless repetitions of trauma stories, finding relief from the original abuse only in the very same way the abuse was perpetrated: getting away with it - with greed, theft, and utter narcissistic selfishness. This system keeps intact the protection of the original abuser/authority figure as all good, and preserves the status quo, at everyone's expense. 


Today it still takes tremendous courage to face incest, because it is so deeply ingrained in the fabric of Western culture. So if you're a survivor, I just want to acknowledge that you are a pioneer, brave beyond words, and I would like to encourage you to recognize this and be extremely kind to yourself, because you are walking this path not just for you today, but for the future of humanity.

M Becker